Perhaps you, my subscribers, have noticed that my blogs haven’t been bouncing into your inbox with the same frequency as last year and the year before. You might have read that I’ve been waging a bit of a battle with Breast Cancer, with scrimmages and skirmishes physical and emotional.
I’m still processing my metamorphosis, too immersed to step back and evaluate, except to say that I haven’t been in the mood to write life, when life has been, at times, a cancer-induced fugue of fear, fury and fatigue. Not to mention my absent joie de vivre.
I think I’m back. I still have a week of radiation to endure, but I’ve recovered from the five-week course that ended on December 3rd. I’m going to borrow from Frank Herbert, author of Dune:
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
Anyway, here in Costa Rica, we take our lives into our hands just driving. So I tell myself I could die at any minute of any day, and ask myself if I want, therefore, to stop living. It seems I don’t. Stay tuned for further misadventures.