The headline in the Costa Rica Star read, Topless ziplining and naked horseback riding. Really? Naked horseback riding? Imagine the condition of your inner thighs after an hour or more of clutching a leather saddle between them.
Not to mention safety. What if you got knocked off your horse? It happened to me more than once, and I can tell you I’m glad I wasn’t naked.
In the picture that accompanied the article, all but two of the lovely, shapely young women turn their heads and smile for the camera. They seem as wholesome as an Olympic polo team. Not a chubette in sight, which leads me to wonder if they’re models.
Oh, and there are no guys in the picture either. I guess naked horseback riding isn’t something most males would clamor for, despite the pretty girls.
And topless ziplining. Thirty-five years ago, when I still had pretty good ones, it took me a couple of days to bare my breasts in the Canary Islands, where even old grannies with way droopy tits went topless. Topless ziplining. Nah.
I know you’re wondering where you can get in line for these delightful activities. You’ll have to visit the Hotel Desire, here in Costa Rica. The hotel is located in Jaco, a city of sex, drugs, and, I’d guess salsa, on the Pacific, south of us.
The resort is adult only, clothing optional. It bills itself as “connecting fun-loving adult lifestyles from all over the world with one another in one of the most exotic places on earth.”
Inside the restaurant, they claim to “have taken the Breastaurant concept to the next level.” Move over Hooters. A program that seems to be coming up soon is called, “breastlicious.” One can only wonder. Go ahead.
What would I want in a hotel that catered to my desires? Mostly the mundane: Free Wi-Fi; a big, comfortable bed with no critters hiding in it; a beach and a pool, and good food. I’ll pass on naked activities. Thanks just the same.